Life Goes On While Worlds Fall Apart

I don't know about all of you, but there are times when I get insanely lonely. This weekend was one of those times. I've literally done nothing but sit at home, eat and watch videos on my computer. I have been one of the most boring people I know and honestly, it's my fault. I could go out and do something, but since the break up and the move, I've noticed that I've become even more fearful of what will happen if I escape from my comfortable, if not confining, bubble. While all of my friends and family are out at family barbecues and being social, I'm sitting at home doing absolutely nothing.

Now I know that change is inevitable, especially after something like a break up or a move. Put them together, and of course I'm bound to feel off for a while. My mind races back to the "what ifs" and I dwell way too much on the negative. I'm stuck complaining to friends 2,000 miles away about how I don't feel like I'm worth anything. The funny thing is that when my friends and family retort with things like: "But you are, my dear! Someday you'll find someone who is worth your time and...." my automatic response is "Yeah, I know." Because truth be told, I do know. However, knowing doesn't really help the situation I'm in at the moment. It's hard to feel like you're worth something when everyone you know seems to be happy without you. My ex started seeing a new whore girl a week after we broke up. Now they're in a serious relationship. My friends in the Midwest had to keep living their lives without me when I left.

I'm not mad at these people (ok, maybe a little mad at my ex). I know that it's only natural. As the title of this entry says "Life goes on while worlds fall apart." I don't expect anyone to put their life on hold to help me while I'm feeling self deprecating. And honestly, I need to fix myself. I know that my past is littered with depression, pessimism, shyness and countless other negative things. I know that I've overcome them before, and it's just something that I need to do again. I have so many dreams and plans that I can't wait to get started on. I want to write a book; to form a band; to create greatness. I want to be someone that people can look to and say "yeah, she had some hurdles to overcome, but look at where she's at now!" It's a long road, and I have to keep my eye on the finish line instead of getting constantly overcome with this feeling of inadequacy.

I remember while I was trying to sleep last night, I wondered why I was alive and whether there was a point to my existence. We all deserve better than the hell we are forced to live, but maybe that's the point of all of this. Maybe it's not about being the next celebrity, but about going through all of this hell and still coming out the other side a better person. And if we can create just a little greatness along the way, then I think we're doing just fine.

Braaaaaains

The topic of the day is zombies. It struck me today that I didn't have a zombie survival guide in the case of Z-Day. For those less nerdy than I, if you want to substitute the word "epidemic" for the word "zombie" in this article, that is totally acceptable. In reality, any epidemic, zombie or otherwise is something that we should all be prepared for. Don't get me wrong, I don't have an underground bunker (yet...those things are expensive), but I do think that preparation is key.

If you do a quick Google search for "Zombie Survival" you'll more than likely run into Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide. This is your bible in the zombie plague. Rather than looking at it as a joke, Brooks takes the time to go through terrains, weapons, and so on to give the reader a real understanding of what life may be like in this hypothetical place. Buy it. Love it. Use it.

There are several theories on how the zombie infection could or will begin. That's a completely separate blog post that I'll get to at a future date. What I want to cover in this post is what you should have in your Zombie Survival Kit. Really this stuff should be in your home in case of any disaster. Get those credit cards ready, my friends. It's time to shop!

First you'll need weapons. I won't lie and pretend to know anything about weapons in general, but the general consensus is that you will need a rifle or shotgun, at least one handgun, and lots of ammo. Cabela's or a hunting/gun store would be the obvious place to go for these. I think a melee weapon is also important. For this, I'd recommend a machete, ax or some kind of long blade. Where will you be without ammo?

Second, get a backpack. It seems like a "duh" kind of thing, but you never know what kind of hell you'll be going through. Good straps and resilient fabric is a must.

Third, you need general camping gear. This is self explanatory. If you're on the run, take things you're going to need. Sleeping back--check. Flashlight and radio--check. Extra batteries (tho getting anything solar powered is better)--check. First aid kit--check. Firestarter (as in matches, flint, etc)--check. At least one pot for water and food--check.

Red, White & Dead 2012 -
Zombie Walk thru Downtown Fremont

Fourth, bring a shovel. Folding is preferred, unless you want to lug around a large full-sized shovel where. You never know when you'll need a hole. (Bathroom, anyone?) Plus, it can always be used to sever a zombie head from its body.

Fifth, and something I wouldn't normally think of is a tarp. The possibilities are endless for this.

Six, you need clothes and general living amenities. Put down your anti-aging cream and pick up some toilet paper and things that will actually come in useful.

Seven, and probably the most obvious thing is food and water. Non-perishable munchies and at least one if not two liters of water. Make sure to save your containers too...you'll need to refill eventually.

Eight, good boots. Running around during the apocolypse is not going to be fun in a pair of flip flops. Trust me...I get blisters after a day on the town. A whole month without good footwear will leave you hurting, literally.

Last but not least, the miscellaneous. Cards, books, pencils and pens, paper, duct tape, a multi-tool, and so forth. Gather stuff you could use and if you don't, you can always trade it.

If I missed anything, let me know!! Keep calm and a level head and you'll do fine. And don't forget--double tap!