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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

This Is Love

I realized today that I am one incredibly lucky woman. Not only do I have a great place, great friends and more money than I need...I have one hell of a catch in the man that I call Boyfriend.

We had a minor spat yesterday, and it made me realize just how lucky I am to finally be with a nice guy. My exes were relatively nice guys as well, but there's a distinct difference between them and this guy. Rather than avoiding conflict and creating more issues in the long run, we address what makes us tick and actually fix the issue. It's the most honest relationship I've ever been in, and I love that.

All the passion in the world can't save a communication-lacking relationship. My two previously failed relationships are proof enough of that. Maybe I'm wise beyond my years. Maybe I've just had enough crap thrown my way prior to this that a nice guy shines like a beacon. Regardless, I'll take it. :) We haven't been together for very long, but I find that the longer we're together, the better it gets.

Lately, work has been rather stressful. The reason for this is because I got a new coworker who's a little behind on what he should know. Not a big deal...I kind of figured I'd have to pick up the slack regardless. However, because this guy isn't performing as the company expected, they're left wondering who could take the spot of Lead Dispatch. Some think it should be me; others believe it should go to someone more qualified. Regardless of what happens, there's one thing that annoys the hell out of me. If you've never worked in an office before, let me tell you one thing: It's as bad as high school when it comes to talk. There's gossip, cliques, and lots of I'm-better-than-you type of interaction. This dispute of who should be lead is a treasure trove of possibilities in the aforementioned ways.

I mention this whole work thing because if it had happened in the previous relationships, the significant other would be annoyed and frustrated with me for venting my say. I know this because with my last ex, anytime I talked about work, his eyes glazed over and he found ways to change the topic. However, with Boyfriend, he listens to me rant and gives constructive criticism. He reminds me that, specifically in this instance, I'm good enough to do anything, despite what my brain might try to tell me. And I think that's another important thing in a relationship. Support and belief in the other is a big deal to me. I want to feel like the person I'm with has my back in everything, and for once I actually do.

Lastly, he's got a child from a past relationship, and while I've dated a single dad before, with that one, I'd never actually met the kid. Not so much with Boyfriend. He brought her along on the zombie walk, which was before we were even official. He invites me to things, and she's taken a liking to me. And honestly...I have with her as well. I'd always wondered how someone could fall in love with the man and his kid, but it makes sense now. She's amazing. He's a great parent with her, and I adore that little girl. When she gets super excited when I show up and screams "Jessi!" it's best described how my bestie says it "my heart does that 'thump thump' thing." I love that he's incorporating me into his family and that it's not weird being around them. It's an awesome feeling.

So alas, that is my life. This post turned out a little more look-at-me that expected, but whatever. ^_^

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Danger: Boredom

This morning, my alarm scared me into consciousness, and I felt entire being seemingly screaming at me saying "No....stay here! There are bad things ahead!" And you know what? My mind was right.

Today's not necessarily a bad day, but it's definitely one where the comfort of my warm bed and the privacy of my own house are very appealing. I find myself drifting in and out of daydreams and wishing for unconsciousness while at work. My tasks are repetitive, my coworkers are annoying and rather bossy, and I can't help but yearn for the blue sky I can see out my window. 

My thoughts exactly.
It's interesting, however, that when waking up this morning, I had the sense that I should call in. I'm sure we all experience the sense of dread from work or school or some event we don't want to do. I know at least three of the five workdays, I wake up dreading work. However, today it was almost overpowering.

My drive to work was fine, but it seemed as though as soon as my butt hit the chair and my hands touched the keyboard, there was junk to take care of. The sense of urgency is like the ocean at the office I work at. At some points, it's calm and relaxing. But other times, all hell breaks loose. The phones ring off their hooks, the technicians go crazy and act like children, and the supervisors or fellow coworkers squawk around like chickens with their ego-boosted heads chopped off. It's all rather distracting, to say the least.

I find myself daydreaming until 1pm, so that I can take my lunch break. Little known fact: 1/2 of the time, I take a nap on my lunch break rather than eat. (Oh the joys of living close to work!) Once I clock back in from lunch, it's a 3-hr wait to go home again. Typically it goes by rather quickly, but on days like today, it wouldn't surprise me if it took forever to go by.

Time is a funny thing like that. The moments you want to last tend to pass you by quickly, while the ones you wish would speed past tend to drag on. The first day that the boyfriend came over to hang out with me, time went so quickly. He came over around 7 or 8pm, and the next thing we know, it's 4am. However, it's nearly noon at this very second, and my brain keeps saying "Good God, we've still got five more hours!" I try to make the time go by quicker, but today it's just not happening.

Looks like it's time to break out the drawing utensils to pass my time! Got any ideas as to how to pass the time? Or want to speculate as to a) why time gets slower or faster dependent on what we're doing or b) how our minds know (sometimes) about the hell-day we're about to walk into? Leave me a comment!